Archive for February, 2014


Posted: February 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

As a writer, I tend to expose more of myself than I should at times. However, no one sees what is inside. I get judged by my looks and accomplishments. It is true… I have led an exceptionally exciting and fascinating life. I’ve been involved in so many amazing areas that have kept me in the spot light for most of my life. Is fame something that I strived to have? No! Actually, I prefer quiet and to left alone, but that never happens. I move onto something new and I am cast right back into the spotlight again. This is not something I do intentionally. It just happens. What comes from being in the public eyes is criticism, jealousy and hatred from others. I am judged on a daily basis and wrongfully so because people don’t know the real me. I’m writing this not for them, you, or anyone else but myself. I have been accused and condemned of being a Satanist for over 30 years because I was a co-creator of the metal band Slayer. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I was young and full of anger at the time, and have paid dearly for many years by being a man caught between two worlds that neither would have. I am accused of being a drug user? How can this be? Because of my appearance that’s why. I do not use any drugs whatsoever. I’m not claiming to be a saint because I tried my fair share when I was young. However, at that time I quickly realized that drugs and I do not get along. I was not good at it and sitting in a corner wondering if my heart was going to stop or if I would piss my pants was not my idea of a good time. When it comes to my appearance, I am just a free spirit and something I choose. I’m also rebelling against society’s idea of what I should be. Others seem to enjoy saying that I’m arrogant and full of myself. Why I must ask? You don’t know me. I have been very successful in life in many areas. I have worked hard to achieve my goals. Am I not allowed to be proud of what I have accomplished? How can you judge me without knowing me. I am judged by so many that claim to be Godly. I have to question them, “Are you not reading the same book as me? In the book of Matthew 7:1-5 “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

With that said, do not judge what you see on the surface. Now I’m going to allow you to see a little of what is really inside me, and hopefully, some will learn that it is not right to judge others. All of my life, I have been on a quest for the seeming fabled true love. Yet, once again, people see me in a different light thinking I’m a Player, a womanizer. Again, they are wrong. I believe in the fairy tale of everlasting love and that is all I’ve longed for. I have written several books on the subject, hoping that others will use what I’ve learned to find his or her love of a lifetime. And still… I have been criticized for doing that. It breaks my heart knowing there are so many bitter, closed minded people. Many of whom will end up alone and they just don’t know it. Who’s the arrogant one now? I bet, you are thinking to yourself that will not happen to you. Are you sure about that? This brings me to letting you see what is truly inside me and what I really am all about. I am a man that is all about love, and that desire for love fills me with so much pain. Let me explain. My first book Ghost Of A Rose was about the deep love I had for a woman. However, that love was not real because it was with a pathological narcissist. This cast me into a world that very few even know exists.

From <b>GHOST OF A ROSE</b>

I am dying inside, and lifeless eyes have emerged from within displaying my pain for all to see. Dreams have become a thing of the past. There is no future, no hopes, only emptiness resides in me now. I’m torn between a world of the living and the dead, a terrifying place to be.

Is there anyone out there that can understand what it means when I say I’ve become a living dead person? I walk around breathing, working, and pretending to function normally, acting as if I am fine and able to cope with losing my lover. It’s all a facade, an act for others to see and believe that I’m able to deal with what has happened. The days pass by with little to no meaning, living and breathing, but barely surviving each day with a feeling that my life is finished. Where am I supposed to go from here?

I have entered a world unseen by most people. If people could see what I do now, they would look around and become aware that those with empty hearts and lost souls can be seen everywhere. Forgotten individuals that go by unnoticed, a living ghost of a human with an empty shell of what was once a hopeful heart. We pass by them every day; maybe we just don’t want to see them.

I return to my favorite spot in the channel. I like this place because there are so many fond memories of love, but it has become a place for mourning. Around 11:00 there is not a soul around. It’s such a beautiful place at night, yet such a lonely place to be alone. Across the water, I watch as a woman walks down the path dimly lit by old lampposts. She stops underneath one of them and sits on a park bench. The woman hunches over to rest her face in her hands. I don’t know what her story is, but I know the look all too well. She too is suffering a great loss.

They, we, are everywhere. The man sitting on the beach by himself, blankly staring into the sky as the sun goes down, the woman shedding a tear as she watches a newly in love couple share a few moments of tenderness in public. So many lonely people who desire nothing more than love and yet, they are the ones fading into nothingness. Humanity is losing its ability to cherish love, to show concern, and to care about others. –<b>end </b>

<b> </b>I exposed my heart and soul in that book, and those that have a loving heart were able to see what is truly inside and felt my agony and love for the people.

“I want to begin by telling you that I admire your courage. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to unzip your soul and turn around and grab your ankles and ask the world to judge you. And that’s what an author does when he writes. And everyone knows that. That’s why fiction was born. Because the friction between pride and fact chafes a man’s marrow. So congratulations of the courage of composition. And I swear to the good Christ I mean that.” – Mark Trost

Since I wrote that book, I still see these lonely and lost people. I see them everywhere and my hearts aches tremendously for them… and myself. It’s an agonizing pain that doesn’t go away. At times, I wish this sight would be taken from me so I can live oblivious to it as most people do. I have a fear of being one of them and ending up alone. That is not what God intended for any of us. However, this unwanted sight is what keeps me fighting for love and humanity.

Before Jesus died on the cross, he said there were only two laws to live by. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” How is it that those who claim to be God loving cannot live by those two rules? This is what I fight for, and so for those of you, whom wish to criticize me, keep the words of Jesus in your mind before making judgment. When you want to criticize me for anything I say or do, remember, I am just a human with flaws. When you want to belittle me for anything at all, keep in mind that I am fighting for love; that I feel the pain of others. Unfortunately, I must keep most of it bottled up inside otherwise it viewed by the world as weakness. Show me someone, anyone without flaws or sin, and I know I will be looking at God.

Before I end this, I just have one more thing to say. For those that still want to criticize me, before doing so, know that I will never stop fighting for love, even when it seems like a losing battle, and that my heart and soul bleeds for those in need, that I am the one that will go out of his way just to say hello to someone that looks like they just need to be recognized. Then look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, “Are you doing anything to better the life of others?”


What happened to all the Nice Guys? Next to the subject of Global Warming, this has been one of the most debated topics in recent history, and to be honest, men are fed up with it. Ladies, you asked, but you are not going to like the answer. The brutal truth is, you drove them away, cast them to the side, and now all you have remaining are the leftovers. Women singled handedly killed the “Nice Guy,” and yet they have the audacity to complain that there are no “Nice Guys” available for them.

Before going ape-shit insane and start cursing at me for pointing out that fact, and it is true, let’s look at the subject more closely. Any man that has experienced true love, only to have his heart pulverized by the woman that he thought he would spend his life with will know what I am talking about. In any case, it is necessary to understand why “Nice Guys” finish last and why they probably always will.

Contrary to what most women believe, there are many men interested in obtaining a successful romantic relationship. When some men truly fall in love, passion gets the better of him. He will do whatever it takes to treat her right and make her happy. This man gets labeled as “The Nice Guy.”

The only problem with being the “Nice Guy” is that he sometimes becomes the boring and predictable guy in her eyes. Women generally want to be chased, and they feel the need to be admired by more than just one man. Eventually the woman starts losing interest, and before you know it, her eyes start to wander.

She’ll look for a new man who will bring stimulation back into her life. Pursuit and a need for excitement sometimes stems from selfish attitudes, much like the “Bad Boy” who doesn’t care about anyone but himself. The “Nice Guy” is then dumped. He’s left heartbroken and puzzled about what he did wrong. Shattered and confused, the man is left with no choice, but to let the “Nice Guy” within him die. Men are not allowed by society’s rule to show emotion or wear his heart on his sleeve. He holds his emotions inside, and in time, he becomes bitter and emotionally closed off. How pathetic! It is true, the grass is not greener on the other side. It only gets greener when you water and nurture it. Until women learn this, they need to be prepared to land in a pile of manure.

Do you think I’m making this up as I go? Think back in time. Try really hard and don’t strain your brain, you might pop a blood vessel. I’m sure somewhere in your data bank, hidden in a dusty corner, you will recall the one man that treated you like a princess, adored you, wanted to spend time with you instead of drinking with his buddies, and didn’t push you to the side to focus on a career. Do you remember the guy that would go shopping with you, hold your hand in public, truly care about how your day went, and was there for you whenever you needed him? Do you remember, the one man that would hold you when you cried, and always told you how beautiful you are? I bet you do, but back then, he was nothing more than emotional toilet paper to you, and now, after being subjected to the abusive “Bad Boy” assholes, playtime is over, and you wonder where that “Nice Guy” is now.

The Frightening Facts. What happened to that Nice Guy? The bottom line is, you ignored and shit all over him, that’s what happened. Some women seem to buy into the whole “Bad Boy” dating experience. Basically, those guys provide short-term excitement, but turn out to be selfish, arrogant, and only concerned about their own needs.

The glamour of the “Bad Boys” like James Dean is long gone. Now, the “Bad Boy” is true to his name. Walk into any nightclub, and it looks like a social gathering of convicts after a prison break. A loser in most aspects, but he is assertive towards women. He is so because he has nothing to offer, no real future, and needs an advantage over other men. Carefree, with nothing to lose, he is more forceful and exceptionally skilled at playing the role of a charming, playful, yet dangerously exiting individual at first. Be warned, because for many, it’s all an act. Inside the tough exterior lurks a shallow and treacherous narcissistic soul.

Women are drawn to the “Bad Boy” for many reasons. One might be due the built in mothering instinct. It’s a known fact that if you take two puppies, one that is healthy and loving, the other is sick or wounded, as a woman, you will instinctively pick the broken one, thinking that you can fix him. Once he gets older, he develops a chip on his shoulder. He feels life hasn’t been fair to him and eventually starts to bite. As more time passes, he becomes vulnerable to the truth of his lies. As the woman, you become boring to him; he needs a new play toy, so he cheats on you. This happens all the time.

You realize the things that originally attracted you to the “Bad Boy” are not the qualities that make for a healthy, long-term relationship. So now, you’re single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months, having only encountered players and douche-bags, you wonder, “What happened to all the Nice Guys?” It’s a shame that it took the complete absence of “Nice Guys” in a woman’s life for her to realize that they missed them, and that they are what they truly wanted. Most women will only have a handful of “Nice Guys” stumble into their lives, if that at all.

It’s being drilled into man’s head that the “Nice Guy” finishes last. If you look close, advertisements are everywhere making this claim. Websites, articles, and books are dedicated to this subject. Men that were once “Nice Guys” are being programmed to think that the only way for them to attract a woman is to change into the “Bad Boy.” The “Bad Boy” has become a misguided cultural epidemic, and it is you, the women who have created these monsters.

Not aware of it, women have transformed many “Nice Guys” into “Bad Boys.” “I used to be a nice guy,” says Carl from Arizona. “What did that get me? Twenty years of sex with my right hand and a fortune in porn. So, fuck it! I give up. Women want to be treated like a doormat, fine then; I’ll give them what they want. I may not have the loving relationship I always dreamed of, but at least I won’t be alone, and I’ll get laid frequently.”

Pamela from San Diego replies, “This is to the “Nice Guys.” Please don’t change. Take a close look at the “Bad Boys” that are getting the girls right now. They are jerks, scumbags and look like criminals. It’s just a trend at the moment, but it won’t last. Besides, do you really want a woman who is attracted to an asshole that shits on them? All the “Bad Boy” gets are women that have low morals or desperate sluts. No respectable woman wants to settle down with a guy later in life whose only success is sleeping with over 50 women. Please don’t become a jerk. You will be happier when real love does find you.”

American women have become the laughing stock of the world. Other countries verbally bash western woman for how shallow and materialistic they have become. The men in America are so fed up that many of them are shying away from western woman and looking outside the country for a mate. It makes us want to grab hold, shake the hell out of you, and scream, “WAKE THE HELL UP!”

“It’s western women who worship the “Bad Boys,” while they walk all over the “Nice Guys.” That is until they become single moms with kids, broke, and has 10 antibiotic-resistant STD’s. So for all you Nice Guys, forget about theses emotionally crippled women, set goals, work hard, continue to learn, become skilled at cooking, holding good conversation, and live well. Time is on our side, because men age like a majestic wine, and women age like milk.” – John Anderson.

Sad Story. There are so many stories of the “Nice Guy” being left in ruins by a woman that dumped them for a “Bad Boy.” Instead of looking into them, let’s look at how this can be changed, and hopeful find a middle ground where both men and women will find happiness together.

The title “Nice Guy” has a stigma to it. The “Nice Guy” is looked down upon as weak and a push over. In some men that may be true, but in many, it’s because they honestly love their woman. He adores his woman and puts her on a pedestal. Women claim that is what they would want in a man, but they eventually become bored by it. This is where woman confuse men. What is it you want? Save us all the heartache and speak up. You may assume we can, but we can’t read your minds.

“I know several nice men who are highly successful, fun, handsome, aren’t alcoholics, drug addicts, cheaters, etc, and they have a hard time dating because the single women want “Bad Boys.” It’s pretty ridiculous, if you ask me.” – Beverly from San Diego.

“When women say they want a “Nice Guy,” it means they don’t want an asshole. No woman wants to be treated badly, if they are with a guy who abuses them, then it could be a psychological or co-dependent issue with the woman, but she didn’t set out to find a guy who is a jerk. We want a man who is assertive, someone who can take charge, and still be a gentleman. He doesn’t have to open every single door for us or buy us flowers every day, just be a well-rounded guy who has other interests, takes care of himself, has a job, a car, financially responsible. I have met several guys who started out fine, but then turned into wimps, and that’s just as big a turn-off as an asshole.” –Sportsfangal

“Speaking as someone who thinks of himself as a “Nice Guy,” I’d say part of the problem is that women will often say what they want, but when they find it, they discover it’s not what they’d hoped for. For example, a woman will say she wants a man who’s confident, but when she meets him, she’ll say he’s cocky, or a woman may want a man with a sense of humor, but when she finds one, she’ll say he’s immature. And with the “Nice Guy, when she finds him, she’ll say he’s boring. Sure, there are nice guys out there who fit the stereotype. But like everything else in life, we tend to notice the extremes more than the middle. We’re more likely to notice the “Nice Guy” who’s dull and spineless and the “Bad Boy” who treats a woman like dirt rather than that person in the middle. If you are serious about finding that nice, confident guy, the first thing you need to do is stop looking in the same places. That kind of guy won’t be hanging out at the bar or in the dance clubs. One thing you have to keep in mind is that many “Nice Guys” might be a bit jaded because they’ve seen countless women go for the “Bad Boy.” It’s true that people take for granted what they think will always be there. Guys do this with nice girls, and women do it with “Nice Guys.” A lot of “Nice Guys” decide to act like jerks, and too often, it works in their favor. Personally, I couldn’t do it even though I’ve seen it work. It just isn’t me.” – Name withheld by request.

What’s disturbing is, many men that were once a “Nice Guy” came to the conclusion that if he ever wanted to get the girl he desires, he would have to act like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Brutal Bashing. As you sit at home alone, don’t look for sympathy when you ask what happened to all the “Nice Guys,” because it is you that drove them away. Ladies, you seriously need to consider this before it’s too late. Good men do age like a fine wine. The “Bad Boy,” on the other hand, how is he going to look in twenty years? The shaved head, goatee, steroid filled body covered in dozens of hideous tattoos are not going to be so appealing when his metabolism slows down and the skin begins to loosen up. Not to mention, he is stereo typed, and even if he wants to change for the better, no one will take him serious in the professional world. Go ahead, play with that “Bad Boy” for now, but remember, while you are doing so, the “Nice Guy” is out there looking for a woman he can adore and spoil with riches beyond imagination. That or he came to believe that women aren’t really attracted to guys who hold doors open, cook dinners, bring them flowers or buy a gift that was mentioned in passing, and turned into a dickhead.

Crucifying Comments. “What happened to the “Nice Guys” you ask? We got married and are living happily ever after with our wives. What is left can best be described as a cum stain on the sheets.” -Tom

“Some women think that they have magical vaginas. They feel they will be the one to tame that “Bad Boy” and get him to be a “Nice Guy.” This usually results in tears, failure and blaming anyone but themselves.” –Jared

“These dumb chicks get abused mentally, physically, financially, and sexually by the “Bad Boys” they crave, and then when they get beaten, dumped or left broke, they sit with their girlfriends and cry about it, and then they wonder where are the “Nice Guys.” The fact that the girl chose the “Bad Boy” always seems to get lost in the details. What is even more disturbing is they will go back for more. Well ladies, next time you wonder what happened to the “Nice Guys,” you may want to consider modifying your own behavior. If not, you’ll wind up without love, and a twat the size a trash can. Take note girls, this is why nice guys are extremely rare. We either become jerks like the majority of guys, or they are like me, they stop caring and actually stop dating completely.” – Pauly

Pull Your Head Out (of your ass). There are many other forms of attraction that need to be considered. Some women are known to be “frog farmers.” They will seek out a man that is not the pick of the litter and work at turning him into a prince, or they take a respectable man and changed him into a toad. Nowadays it could be more accurately said, “When it comes to attraction, many women (notice I made a conscience effort not to say all) are like flies drawn to shit.” These women will continue to repeat this pattern until they realize shit stinks, but for some women, I think they have lost the sense of smell, and are okay with a turd.

Don’t give up hope just yet. The “Bad Boy” era will eventually come to an end. At one time, the “Bad Boy” was appealing as a rebel, he was exciting because there were so few of them, but now, society is saturated with them. Women love what they can’t have, and the “Nice Guy” has become the rarity. Unfortunately, for you men in your twenties, you may have to wait ten years for women to grow up and realize that they want a real man. In the meantime, go out and have some fun, continue educating yourself, become worldly and successful.

A “Nice Guy” revolt has already begun by those not willing to succumb to becoming less of a man in order to get the girl. “Nice Guy” clothing lines are surfacing, and “Nice Guy” websites are popping up all over the Internet.

You women out there need to pull your head out of your ass. The “Nice Guy” is going to be in great demand, and they may not be available when you finally decide you’ve had enough of being abused, cheated on, and taken for granted. The “Nice Guys” may very well all be scooped up and happily married.

Sucker Setup. I decided to take this one on myself. I am physically attractive with a strong build and carry myself with confidence. My past has been filled with excitement and I have met seemingly impossible goals. The “Bad Boy” was part of my past, but not as it is portrayed nowadays. These guys don’t know what “bad” really is. Try being a co-creator off one of the most “evil” and popular Heavy Metal bands in history. I’ve seen things that would make today’s “Bad Boy” piss their pants. My problem is, I am the “Nice Guy” inside. I am a true romantic, I’m passionate about what interests me, and I put my woman above all else. I have no problem attracting the good hearted, wholesome women, the right women, but I am going to test my theory to see if I can expand into the upper echelon of beautiful women.

To begin this test, I went to the same nightclub two weekends in a row. In a short amount of time, I was able to get the attention of several attractive “Nice Girls.” We had a terrific time and engaged in polite and flirtatious conversation. When I approached the cream-of-the-crop, the most beautiful women, I was brushed off in a short amount of time.

When it comes to clothes, I believe in independence and class, so I needed to purchase a few outfits that match what every other drone on the market is wearing. To prepare for the transformation, I grew a goatee, and enlisted an artist friend of mine to airbrush dozens of tattoos on my arms. My attire consisted of long black, baggy shorts, a (name withheld) t-shirt that I cut the sleeves off, and a baseball cap turned backwards. Having long hair, I pulled it back into a ponytail and tuck it under the hat.

I returned to the same nightclub, but this time instead of a vehicle, I rode my custom Harley Davidson there and parked it at the entrance. Before going in, I had to mentally prepare myself for the act, and become the arrogant, aggressive, carefree individual.

I had to loosen up, so I went straight to the bar, did a shot of Tequila, and then ordered a beer. I scanned the room for my target. I picked out the most beautiful woman, which just happened to be one that I unsuccessfully approached two weeks earlier. She had a nice looking young man sitting next to her, but I could tell she was not interested. I approached her and placed myself between the two. I used my body as a wall to cock-block the man, faced her, and struck up a conversation. I was arrogant and witty in dialog, but careful not to cross over into being an obnoxious asshole.

It took less than 20 minutes before I had her hook-line-and-sinker, and was able to get her to offer up her phone number. I excused myself, and told her I had to go outside to make a phone call, and that I would return. Before I did, I leaned in and got her to kiss me without hesitation.

Outside in the parking lot was a van waiting for me so I could change into my normal attire. A crew was waiting to remove the airbrushed tattoos, shave the goatee off, and restyle my hair.

I re-entered the nightclub and found her waiting where I left her. Quietly, I walked up and sat back down next to her. She turned to me and said, “I’m sorry, but this seat is taken.” I looked her directly in the eyes, and she seemed confused. She had that “deer staring in the headlights” look in her face. She didn’t recognize me at first, and then it hit. Looking me up and down, all she could say was, “What the fuck?”

Having dropped the act, I explained to her what just took place. I asked, “Do you remember me from two weeks ago?” She looked me over again and replied with, “Now I do.” I asked, “So why was it when I approached you before, you quickly blew me off?” She had to think about it for a moment before explaining, “Well, you seemed kind of quiet and to be honest, you looked really good, but not too exciting.” This proved my theory, but raised even more questions. So I did another test, but went the other direction by dressing up and looking more businesslike. The results were the same as the “Bad Boy” persona. This proves that women are attracted to excitement and power (money). It seems as though the men in the middle are screwed, but wait a minute before giving up on hope.

Retribution. “I definitely want a Nice Guy,” says Debra from Los Angeles, “Unfortunately, that often translates to “wimpy, and spineless”. In some men that is the case, but in many, it is because they honestly care for and love the woman. He adores his lady and puts her on a pedestal. Women claim that is what they would want in a man, but they become bored by it. This is where woman confuse us men. What is it you want? Damn it! Save us all the heartache and speak up. You may assume we can, but we can’t read your minds.

What it all boils down to is women want a man who is exciting, good-hearted, trustworthy, and most important, one they can think long term with. There is so much residue built up on the term “Nice Guy,” let’s throw it out the window and clear the slate.

What women really desire is “The Great Guy.” The “Great Guy” is a man that is honest, kind hearted, assertive, and confident. This man is passionate about everything that interests him, and can meet a woman on an emotional level. A “Bad Boy” exudes untamed masculinity, independence, and confidence. To women, these traits are an aphrodisiac, so take them from him and combine them with your kind nature. A man has to be able to court a woman, amuse her, and excite her while continuously remaining a challenge. Again, sometimes to get what we want, we have to make changes within our self.

A key element here is sex, which is a dominant factor as to why women are attracted to the “Bad Boy.” He is masculine and exudes sexual confidence. Once again, you can beat him at the game. The “Bad Boy” is confident, but crosses over the fine line into arrogance. This is his weakness. He is more concerned about his own needs when it comes to sex, rather than the woman’s. A man who takes control in bed is a huge turn on for women, so use this knowledge to your advantage. One thing you have over them is a brain. Learn as much as you can about how to sexual please a woman. There are many excellent instructors out there. One I would recommend is Jason Julius; he’s on the cutting edge of new techniques. Study many techniques, experiment, and find what works best for you. Work on the skills it takes to stimulate a woman emotionally and sexually at the same time. Once you can accomplish that, the two of you will be left in a hot, wet, exhausted, satisfied mess. You need to know how to stimulate and excite her outside of the bed as well. Do this, and the word “boring” will never be used in the same sentence as “Great Guy.”

Men need to learn the true skills how to attract a woman, and once they do, they can beat the “Bad Boy” at his own game. The “Bad Boy” is pretty much a lost cause by nature, so for the “Nice Guy,” this is not a hard task to accomplish. You already have the foundation for greatness. Basically, it all has to do with self-confidence and being assertive. Women are not actually attracted to the abusive, mean, negative part of the “Bad Boy” personality. These jackasses just happen to possess some attractive qualities to them. Women are drawn in by the unpredictability, uncontrollability, and dominance of the “Bad Boy.” It’s a challenge that is so tempting and powerful, women are blinded to the abuse. The “Great Guy” can develop these traits just through knowledge and confidence. Be secure in yourself. Focus on goals and a direction, be decisive when decisions are needed, and go after what you want. In actuality, it’s not the so-called “Bad Boy” a woman wants, but what she desires is a man that is edgy. This “edginess” is what makes a man exciting. The trick is to take the “Bad Boy’s” negative traits and spin them in a positive direction. Once you can do this, the “Bad Boy” will be put back in the gutter where he belongs. The “Great Guy” in the traditional sense is a “Nice Guy” at heart, minus the wimpy, push over stigma and has some of the better characteristics of the Bad Boy. In a simple term, he is the best of both worlds. Somehow, men have to find a way to love a woman, but not become consumed by that love. That is a hard task, because for many of us men, we want to love, cherish, adore and spoil the woman that captivates our heart.

As for the women reading this, for your information, all men have a little Bad Boy in them. Therefore, if you find a Nice Guy that you genuinely like, but he’s just not showing you his “edgier” side right out of the gate, instead of immediately discarding him, put in a little effort yourself for once to bring that rascal out of hiding. Sometimes you may need to hold his hand and expose him to things that excite you, but in most cases, not all of course, he may open up and let that little devil out to surprise you. Amazing relationships do not come easy these days. It takes effort from both parties to make it spectacular.

From the book The Truth About Love, Dating, and Sex “Finding Real Love in an Era of De-Evolution”